Looks like Numi and Diozmos have a tougher road ahead than they thought, huh? Let’s take a look at what people are saying about the first arc of A Painted Dollhouse across the net!
“Story? What story? Nothing happens for hundreds of pages. Nothing happens and it never ends.”
Matteo Valdez, Voot.com
“I was hoping for at least a vague connection between the title and the content of the comic. The only link was that they were both as wordy as they were confusing. I did like the naked riddle guy though. What a snoozefest! (2/5 stars for naked puzzle man.)”
Priti Dhum, Grab.net
“Close this tab. Seriously, trust me. Close this tab, open your underwear drawer and start reading the wash instructions on the first pair you find. i GUARANTEE the detergent recommendations for your XXL granny panties will be 9000% more interesting than this cursed DIAHRREA DUMP of a LITERARY ABORTION.”
Anonymous, r/DiaperFiendsConfidential
“People on the internet are really hyping up how awful this webcomic is, so I’ll set the record straight. Just how bad is The Painted Dollhouse? Let me be clear: if I found it in my toilet after going number two, I would call my doctor immediately.”
@fairycrusher, Jailb8Unblocked.gov
“Worst art I’ve ever seen. Proportions are all over the place. All-around god-awful character design. Hate the racist Jim Crow caricature. Hate the infantilized Manic Pixie Dream Girl in the stripper boots. (How old is Noomi even supposed to be? EW) Hate Hate HATE the fairy. It’s like the “artist” never saw a human being in their life and illustrated with a crayon based on vague secondhand descriptions from a repeat sex offender. Zero stars.”
Joy Rider, WeAreQueens.com
“So much BORING dialogue. I made the mistake of trying to read A Painted Walrus right before bed. Never have I ever seen so many words, each less interesting than the last. But also never have I ever drifted into such a deep, restful sleep. Thanks, Dead Links!”
Anonymous, Twatz.tv
“My Grand Son Natha n told me about. this Web Site so i wrote him out of my will.”
Barbara 87, WebDR.org comment section under the article “Lesions, Swelling & Odorous Discharges: Detect the Early Signs of Syphilis”
“ARRGH THIS STORY MAKES NO SENSE!! Why is he called the RIDDLE MASTER?! THEY be the ones asking HIM the QUESTIONS ARRRGH”
B. Beard, PiratesMeetup.cove
“The art sucks and the story blows. It was like the writer took bath salts and stuck bad Lord and the Wings fanfiction in a blender with the screenplay for those shitty woke Star Track sequels, then pieced it all into one hideous, unending bowel movement. This is awful, but the worst part is that it’s not even bad in an interesting way. Negative infinity stars.”
Aurelius Intelligenticus Maximus the Objectivist Movie Reviewer, YouChewb.com
“How Do Yo u Turn This Of?!”
Myrna 75, WombatConnection.mail
“i mean, it tried to be funny at parts. but it just ended up being confusing and sad. only interesting part was trying to figure out who i hated more: the retarded chick or the black guy. f*cking waste of time”
@allFairiesMustDie666, Twiddies.com
“A classic story about colorful characters going on a quest? I really wanted to like it. Then again, I also really wanted to like my wife Kathy Dhump-Fargus when I married her. But that was before she drowned our beautiful 22-year-old son gregory in the bathtub and set our fucking house on fire. And A Pained Dollhouse basically inflicted comparable emotional damage on my psyche. So there you go.”
Bob A.Q., HDWalrusFootage.xxx comments section
“A fully illustrated experimental web novel with hand-drawn color paneling? They said it couldn’t be done… And they were right; this is just awful!”
Dr. Scab Farkus Phd., London Review of Schnooks
“Why is anyone surprised this is degenerate trash? YOU’RE READING A WEBCOMIC. TURN OFF YOUR COMPUTER AND GO OUTSIDE”
Anonymous, RaceWarNow.com
